


Across The Multiverse To Find Home

by This_is_Riri



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015), The Flash (TV 2014), The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: 1994 Prison World (Vampire Diaries), Aliens, Amnesia, BAMF Bonnie Bennett, Crossover, F/M, Home, Magic, Metahumans, Multiverse, Witches
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-06-23 13:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15606870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/This_is_Riri/pseuds/This_is_Riri
Summary: She didn't know who she was, how she got there or how many times she's been through this. All she knew was that it wasn't home.This is her journey.Disclaimer: I don't own The vampire diaries, Supergirl or any other show referenced here. I don't even own any of the characters or the media images and gifs used in this story. I just write fanfiction.





	1. The Girl In The Ship

_We are witches._

_We are your unlikely friend, your confidant, we're the ones who will always be there even after the world turns to dust._

_We hide in plain sight and we never ever show them who we really are._

There was a flash of light in the sky and within minutes the crash resounded throughout the whole of National city. The news report in the morning will call it a tremor and no one will know about the spacecraft that made a sudden home on Earth. Well, no one except the people who have made it their business to know.

Supergirl arrived at the scene agitated and in time to watch DEO agents cleaning up the scene, ridding it of any evidence of what happened here tonight. It was supposed to be date night, her first date with Mon el since admitting that they've fallen for each other and she didn't want to be here, but she flew back to headquarters anyway.

"There was a girl inside that pod"  Director Hank Henshaw told her when she flew into headquarters and he lead her to the med bay to see the girl for herself. She was a black curly-haired girl with soft brown skin, black hair and a petite figure, lying there with a steady heartbeat. She didn't have a scratch on her, and yet she hadn't woken up.

"Who is she?" Kara finally brought herself to ask and she didn't miss the sadness in his eyes as he explained that she's another alien.

"The pod she was in" he said hesitant to reveal the rest, but the determined look in her eyes made him open his mouth again. "It's the same one Mon el was in, same symbols so we think she's from Daxam as well".

"We can't be sure though" Hank continued when Kara didn't respond and only looked through the glass door at the girl lying unconscious in the med bay. "Not until Mon el confirms it".

Mon el.

He was still in her apartment waiting for her to come back so that they could finish their date and he didn't suspect that another Daxam spacecraft had made it's way to earth after believing that he was the only survivor after his planet was destroyed.

But Kara learnt a long time ago that you can't make assumptions like that. After her mother's twin sister tried to kill her she learnt that anyone could be resourceful when it came to survival, and that family apparently didn't matter.

"Let me see it".

She needed to confirm it with her own eyes before bringing him in here with false hope that his people may have survived and had no way of rebuilding what they lost. That would kill him.

So she'd examine the ship first herself.

Her phone rang about an hour later, after she'd examined the pod about fifteen times, comparing it to Mon el's which was also locked away in containment, and she didn't have to look to know it was him probably wondering where she was.

"You better be hurt or something for making me wait this long" he went off once she picked up, but she could hear the heaviness in his voice. He wasn't upset, just really worried.

"I'm safe, Mon el" she said and her sensitive hearing picked up on the sigh of relief he softly let out. She's never met anyone who felt everything as much as he did and she could almost imagine herself leaving it there and telling him she'll be home soon so that they could enjoy the rest of their evening together, but she can't because as much as she tried to find the smallest differences between the two pods, she couldn't find any.

"Mon el, I'm going to need you to come down to the DEO" she went with the truth instead and waited for him to come and answer some of the questions they had.

Date night could wait until later.

"Where is she?" He asked half an hour later after Kara had sat him down and explained what happened. She wasn't sure if he believed her, she couldn't read him that well yet so instead showed him the ship the girl was in. He'd examined the pod too, even though he didn't have to because he knew, it was one of a kind and he could spot it anywhere.

"She's in the med bay".

Kara then led him to where the girl was still unconscious and she could pinpoint the moment she saw the recognition in his eyes as he walked through the door and to the side of the bed.

She didn't start to feel like an intruder until he took the girl's hand in his and tears filled his eyes. That was Mon el, he felt everything too much and she suddenly knew she shouldn't be there. She was the odd one out, so she left.

Mon el wishes he could say he noticed when Kara left them alone, but he didn't because all he could see was her and the memories came rushing back.

_"You cheated" he whined trying to lift himself up, but she had him pinned down pretty good so he could barely move. They did this every day, and every day she'd beat him. His father, Lar Gand, told them to always be prepared for battle. "You never know when you'll need to defend yourselves" he said and they always kept his word with them so at nine years old they started sparring._

_His mother, Rhea, would say they were born attached at the hip. Which he always found strange because they weren't twins, they weren't even blood, but they somehow found each other and basically grew up in the same crib. He finally understood that saying though, it meant they were close and he kinda liked the sentiment because he couldn't imagine sparring with anyone else._

_"It's not my fault you weren't paying attention, Mon el" she said helping him up and tied up her mass of curls that managed to get lose while they were sparring. She never knew what to do with it, but Mon el would sometimes offer to platt it for her, she liked it when he did that._

_"You know I distract easily" he grumbled, making her roll her eyes before his father stepped closer from the sidelines where he'd been watching quietly. They've been at this for five years, and they no longer looked like two kids fooling around, but like warriors ready to defend each other and Lar Gand could no longer avoid their pleas to be properly trained so he'd agreed to help them because he knew that if it ever came down to it, no one would save them but themselves._

_"You must never let your opponent get the best of you, son" Lar Gand advised, adressing both of them and Mon el huffed in frustration making the point that she knew him too well, and would always get the best of him._

_"If there were ever a war, I wouldn't last long enough to defend myself with all the distractions around me"._

_"If there were ever a war I would defend you myself" she voiced without hesitation and not for the first time, Lar Gand wondered how anyone could ever just throw her away._

A week went by before she finally opened her eyes and squinted at the bright light that blinded her eyes. She took in her surroundings, the glass walls and door that left her feeling exposed to the people in uniform walking past, but they didn't seem to notice her which gave her some comfort, not much, but some.

She didn't know where she was or how long she'd been there and she especially didn't know the last thing she was doing before ending up in a hospital bed.

The not knowing isn't what made her panic though, no, that was the body she felt move under her arm and the firm grip on her hand. He must've felt her distress though because he woke up and tried to calm her down.

"It's okay" he kept repeating, his hand never letting go of hers even with as hard as she tugged to break free and pretty soon there were too many people in the room. People in uniform and a girl in spandex, she didn't recognize any of them, but it never occured to her that she didn't even recognise herself until the man still holding her hand gave her an identity, calling her Chiara.


	2. I Don't Remember You

_Witches are strong._

_That's what makes us powerful, remember that._

Her name was Chiara and she was from Daxam.

That's what the man told her, the one that had been holding her hand when she first woke up. She says first because she'd gotten so panicked that they were scared she'd hurt herself so they gave her an injection to induce anesthesia.

She was fine now though, or as fine as she could be after waking up knowing nothing at all about who she was or where she came from. She just wanted answers.

"My name is Mon el".

He stood by the door as he told her about a planet called Daxam and claimed that was where they were from.

"When our planet was destroyed I believed I was the sole survivor" he continued and she noticed him fiddling with his fingers like he wanted to reach for something, but was actively keeping himself from doing so. "I thought I lost you, but here you are".

She felt guilty for not being able to remember him because they were family and she should know who he is, but she didn't.

"I don't remember you".

He allowed himself to move a bit closer after hearing her soft voice and assured her that it was okay, he'd help her remember because that's what they did and he didn't seem like the type of guy who said things just to say them so she believed him, and he stayed true to his word.

He convinced Director Henshaw to let her leave her room and at least see where she'd been staying for the past week. They gave her jeans and a t-shirt and they were off, starting at the hanger where their pods were.

"This is the pod we found you in when you crash landed" he told her and watched as she placed her hand on it and examined the one next to it as well.

"They look the same".

"That one is mine" he said and she listened to him explain how the girl in the spandex and cape, Kara, found him a few months ago and bought him here. She remembers only seeing her that first time in her room. She knew he liked her, he didn't say it, but it was in the way he spoke about her.

She was a beacon of hope for National city and went by the name Supergirl. He also mentioned that she was an alien too, like them, but from a planet called Krypton which was also destroyed and she wondered just how many aliens there were here.

"The Department of Extranormal Operations, DEO for short, is a government agency whose sole purpose is to find people like us and keep us from detroying the earth" he explained sarcastically as they left the hanger and continued their tour.

It was founded in response to the arrival of Superman, Supergirl's cousin, which was pretty self-explanatory and in her opinion didn't need any further analysis.

Kara zor el was an active agent for this organisation and helped keep the city safe which she could admire, but noticed Mon el's jaw set as he explained that they also kept kryptonite here, which was both Superman and Supergirl's weakness because it could take away their powers and the way he described it didn't exactly sound pleasant.

"Is this our new alient pal?" The voice that came from behind made her jump and Mon el steadied her with his hand on her shoulder. They were in another room she didn't know, but the workout equipment she saw everywhere made it pretty clear it was the training room.

"Dude, don't do that" Mon el chastised the man now standing in front of them when he was satisfied that she was okay.

"Sorry" the man mumbled and seemed to feel bad for scaring her like that, but it really wasn't that she was scared, this place just made her jumpy and wary of everything around her.

Mon el introduced him as Winn Schott Jr. He was their tech guy, apparently, but Winn didn't seem to appreciate the title and promptly pointed out that he was more than that.

"Some might say I'm the brains of this particular operation" he said with a smirk that actually made her smile for the first time since she's been here.

"No one says that".

"Why?" Winn asked in exasperation, "What did I do to you?!"

"Sorry, buddy, anyway this is Chiara" Mon el introduced her.

It wasn't necessary though, as Winn pointed out because she's been the topic of every conversation at the DEO since she crash landed on Earth, she was the second Daxamite survivor and the reason why they started doubling their search for anymore survivors in the universe that might make their way to earth.

"Director Henshaw called me in to run some tests on you".

"They already ran tests" she told him. They tested her for any internal injuries or brain damage of which they found none and only learnt that she had amnesia, which they said was why she panicked.

"No no no, I mean tests to see if you are extranormal like my good friend here" he said referring to Mon el who gave her a bright smile. She thought they'd already determined she was extranormal by virtue of the fact that she was an alien, but knew she was wrong when she watched Mon el put a dent on metal with one punch.

"Show off" she heard Winn mumble beside her before walking over to the nearby computers to get everything ready.

"It's the yellow sun" Mon el explained as he walked back towards her. "It gives us powers".

But apparently that didn't apply to her because she ended up hurting her hand when she tried it and Winn had to bring her ice to keep her knuckles from swelling up.

"You haven't been fully exposed yet so let's give it a few days" Winn explained with his eyes still on the computers looking through the results of their little experiment while Mon el rubbed her back in comfort.

It didn't bother her that she might not be like them though, what bothered her was having no answers to the piling questions in her head.

If she turned out not being who Mon el said she was, then who the hell was she?

"I think I need to rest" she told them before excusing herself and headed back to her room to nurse her injured hand.

* * *

 

_The wind picked up around her as she watched her friends cry for her. They were safe, that was all that mattered to her and she knew that they could survive this. She really believed it._

_It would hurt like hell at first, but they'd pick themselves up and they'd move forward because that was the only way they'd survive this life._

_She refused to believe that she saved them for nothing._

_"This place is going down, isn't it?" he asked coming to stand beside her and she nodded, trying to keep her eyes open while the wind blew harder. He was the only one she couldn't save. She tried, but she was too late and now he was stuck here with her._

_He wasn't her favorite person, but she was thankful for him because that meant she wouldn't be alone._

_"I know there are a million people we'd both rather be with right now, but..." she stopped and took his hand in hers, interlocking their fingers and she felt him squeeze her hand even tighter._

_"A couple thousand at most" he yelled over the sound of the wind and she scoffed, looking up at him and appreciated that he refused to lose who he was, even at death's door._

_It was true what they said about a white light. She saw it coming for them and gave him one last teary smile hoping it wouldn't hurt._


	3. I think I Died

She stood out on the balcony of Kara's apartment looking out at a city she didn't know. It actually looked beautiful, and the wind blowing against her skin made her feel content. She didn't realise how much she missed being outside until that first time Mon el told her they could go on an outing, "Daxamites aren't meant to be confined in small spaces" he'd told her and then flew her over the city. More than anything she loved the feel of the wind against her face and wished she could stay up there forever.

Right now she could hear the music playing inside. "It's a welcoming slash reunion" Mon el said after they surprised her and she couldn't remember meeting so many people at once. She also finally met Kara, who she found out she'd be living with temporarily, until she got on her feet.

Kara was nice, a little awkward, but yet completely comfortable in her own skin and she wondered how she did that. Most of all Kara was warm, they all were, and she wished she wasn't so...off around them, but she was and all she saw were faces that weren't there.

Which is why she ended up on the balcony, looking down at her hands, and willing them to do what they did in her dreams. Her dreams of fire burning from her finger tips and feathers floating around her.

"Are you okay?"

A voice asked from behind her and she was suddenly aware of herself. She straightened up and quickly wiped the tears she was now aware were rolling down her cheeks before turning to find Winn standing by the doorway.

"I'm fine".

"You're crying, you're not fine" he said before closing the door behind him. He's the only one she's confided in about her dreams, and not because she wanted to, but because he'd caught her.

She could still feel the wind blowing against her skin as she held onto his hand for dear life, asking him if he thought dying would be painful and she didn't realize she was floating a few inches over her bed until she fell with a thud when Winn woke her up and told her that Mon el was helping Supergirl and asked him to bring her to Kara's apartment.

"Are we gonna keep ignoring the fact that I found you floating over your bed?" he asked once they were safetly in his car heading to their destination.

He believed that she was finally getting her powers, which meant she could fly so they'd have to do more tests soon.

"You know, I've been called a very good listener at times" he said stealing a glance of her from the driver's seat when she didn't respond and she wasn't sure if it was the sincerity in his voice or the fact that she was feeling vulnerable, but she told him.

She told him about the flashes of faces and broken conversations in her head.

"I think I died".

They didn't say anything else the whole way and when they got to Kara's apartment she could feel his eyes on her the whole time until she finally excused herself and forced Mon el to spend some time with his girlfriend.

"Do you really think you died?" He asked as he came to stand next to her by the railing and she shrugged. She didn't know.

"I want to prove you wrong" he continued and she turned fully to him prepared to listen to his theory. "Chiara, your planet was destroyed. Maybe all these things you're seeing in your head are just your mind's way of coping with the trauma you went through so let's try again".

He wasn't going to stop until she agreed and he was fully prepared to keep bugging her until she caved. She knew this too so she said "I'll think about it, but for now, this stays between us".

It wasn't long until Mon el made his way outside with a worried look on his face before pulling her into a hug while Winn quietly slipped away and gave them some privacy.

She wasn't sure if it was the warmth that radiated from him or the fact that in his eyes she represented someone important and worth caring for, but she let the tears fall again.

"Was this a bad idea?" He whispered into her hair and she shook her head no, nothing about the way he treated her was bad and she let him know that. He pulled away from her slightly and took in her tear stained face.

"You know I've only ever seen you cry once, we were ten and you were telling me what little you remembered about your mom" he said and brought his hand up to her cheek to wipe some of the tears away.

She wasn't sure what was happening until she saw it and pulled away from him.

"Chiara?"

_"Do you know why I'm here?" He blurted out. There was snow everywhere and she kept chanting. She couldn't listen to him, not after everything he's put her through, and certainly not after she almost killed herself because of him._

_"Because my guilt keeps me up at night"._

_"A family was massacred in Portland. The only one missing was the oldest boy, a 22-year-old named Malachi"._

"Chiara? Are you okay?"

"Kai?"

"Who? No it's Mon el" she could hear the fear in his voice as she clucked her head in pain. They came at once, the images, the blood, her death.

It didn't look the same, but she knew the feeling.

_"I'm sorry, but Malachi can never escape"._

She stumbled back and felt arms wrap around her before she blacked out.

* * *

  
She woke up in her room back at the DEO and tried to ignore the thumping against her head as she tried to remember what happened to her.

She didn't even last twenty-four hours in the outside world before it became too much for her and she was starting to feel like a burden, to mon el especially, who made his home beside her bed.

He was holding her hand again, but this time instead of tugging away she squeezed his hand tighter, interlocking their fingers, which was dangerous because she was starting to get emotionally invested in him and in the stories he told her about a life she didn't even remember.

"Chiara".

"Hmmm" she looked down at his sleepy face and gave him a faint smile thinking that bedhead suited him. "Go back to sleep".

"It's okay, how are you feeling?"

"I just have a headache, what happened?"

She called him Kai.

She didn't remember a Kai and when she tried to remember him the pain in her head got worse. It wasn't like her other dreams or visions where she could remember bits and pieces, thinking about Kai gave her a headache which she apparently passed out from and she felt like she was banging her head against a brick wall.

He stayed with her the whole day, telling her more stories about Daxam and the troubles they got themselves into as kids. They laughed, ate food that was completely bad for them and she cried when he told her that her mom just left her in the street.

"I count it as a blessing though because I never would've known you otherwise" he told her sincerely and she hugged him. She wanted it all to be true, she wanted to remember what he remembered and be this person that clearly meant everything to him because whatever the images in her head were, they weren't a part of this and she really wanted this.


	4. My Fading Memories

_I'm going home...home._

She could see the northern lights up ahead as she ran through the snow to get home. This was her last chance to do it or else she'd be stuck here forever and that wasn't an option so she pushed herself to run faster, even as her feet screamed for her to stop, she kept going.

The hard chest she crashed into took her by surprise though, and not because she wasn't looking where she was going, but because she hadn't seen another person in about four months. Another thing she barely noticed was the absence of snow she was running through just a moment ago before she passed out in the strangers arms.

The stranger turned out to be her husband, his name was Jake and he was a police officer at the Atlanta Police Department. To say she freaked out when she saw the wedding band on her left ring finger was an understatement because she couldn't remember getting married.

She couldn't remember anything.

He said her name was Katie and that they've been married for five years, but they were high school sweethearts, and this was their life.

More than anything, she hated being the one to put that hurt expression on his face when she told him she didn't remember him and the dreams she kept having wouldn't let her accept this as her life, but he loved her nonetheless.

"We'll get through this together" he whispered in her ear one night as he held her while she cried on his chest in the middle of their living room and she let herself believe him because this was all she knew, this was real.

"I'm taking you to dinner tonight, Mrs. Riley" he said as he wrapped his arms around her from behind one morning while she tried to make herself a cup of coffee.

It was 06:30 in the morning and if he kept distracting her by rubbing up on her thigh like that then she'd have to disappoint her fourth grade class today, because she was a teacher and she had ten year olds depending on her.

She could still remember plotting her escape while she stood in the middle of her classroom looking at numbers and multiplication tables pasted all over the walls on color paper as she waited for her class to start, when a woman walked in with a little girl she assumed was one of her students.

"We're early" she started "but Jess got excited and insisted I bring her to school early. She wanted to give you something". They walked further into to the classroom and She looked down at the little girl with her blonde hair in a ponytail and a shy smile playing at her lips as she walked closer and handed her the big card that was in her hands.

"Mr. Jake said you hurt your head and can't remember anything" the little girl said while she opened the card and saw a few pictures of herself with a group of little kids laughing her head off, then she noticed the words scribbled at the bottom.

 _You don't need memories to still be the best teacher ever_.

The tears fell unexpectedly, surprising her because how was it possible she could feel so much from just a card, but she got on her knees anyway to look Jess in the eyes who was telling her that the card was from all of them, "it was a team effort" she said.

"Just like you taught us".

_"We need each other to survive"._

She'd heard that before, but she shook it off and smiled at the girl in front of her instead.

"Thank you, Jess".

That was over a month ago and right now Jake's ministrations were going to get her in trouble as she hummed in content, trying to remember what he was saying.

Oh yeah, he was promising her dinner.

"Hmmm, we're gonna get dressed up and everything?" She asked and turned around in his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Mhm" he mumbled against her neck before he picked her up and placed her on top of the counter while she wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him closer.

"Happy anniversary, Mrs. Riley" he moved his head and whispered against her mouth, catching her top lip between his and the kiss felt familiar, like they'd been doing this forever.

_"I'll go if you go"._

The hurt flashed in his eyes when she abruptly pulled away and she quickly pecked him on the lips as an apology before chasing him out the door.

"You'll be late for work" was her excuse and he stole one last kiss before he was out the door.

Then the pain came.

The virus spread unexpectedly a few months later and she got a call that her husband was in containment at the local hospital. They told her he'd been exposed to the virus and didn't know how long he had.

She'd made her decision a while ago though, when she started remembering Kai without blacking out. He'd been haunting her for a few weeks now since she started to remember him, his family and what they did to her.

She wasn't sure where she was or if this was another prison world. It didn't feel like prison, and as much as her husband looked like Kai, she knew it wasn't him and she needed to save this man whose loved her for all these months so she knew what she had to do, as much as she hated it.

Her magic flowed naturally even after being suppressed for months and as she held him on his hospital bed her memories flashed through her mind and she accepted them willingly because this was who she was.

"How did you do that?" He whispered into her ear when she was done and held her close, somehow knowing he wouldn't get to do that again, but she only shushed him. That wasn't important, what was important was that he was okay and that nothing would hurt him again so she just sat there with him for a while just running her hands through his hair.

"I want to tell you something before I leave" she finally whispered in his ear, she wouldn't look at him though because if she looked at him she was sure the look on his face alone would convince her to stay. 

"Where are you going?"

Home.

She didn't tell him that though, she didn't tell him because she didn't know what would happen once she left.

Would time reset itself and let him get back his Katie? Would he even have a Katie? She didn't know and if she dwelled on it too much she wouldn't be able to find the strength to leave, and she had to go, so instead she said "I want you to know that I've always wanted to be loved by someone the way you love me". The hardest part was that she'd fallen in love with him too so she lingered longer than she should've before she finally got the strength to leave with nothing but her magic and her memories of home.

* * *

"I'm not so sure about this you guys" she said looking down at the 100 foot drop from the cliff.

She wasn't sure why she agreed to this when Winn suggested they test if she could fly by making her jump off a cliff because, yes, she may have slowly been giving in to their theories and accepting that Mon el's stories may be about her, but jumping off a cliff was pushing it, right?

She was pushing way past her boundaries here and the slightly worried expression on Mon el's face told her he knew it too, but Mon el was always optimistic so he just took her hand instead and assured her it would be fine.

"Even if it isn't,  I'll catch you".

That brought her some comfort and so she took a deep breath and literally took a leap of faith despite her skepticism.

When Mon el caught her before she could fall to her death, what made her mad wasn't the fact that gravity did it's job and pulled her back to earth, no, what made her mad was that she'd actually let herself believe it was true despite her reservations and now, just like before, she had no identity.

She didn't really speak to anyone after that, but she could hear their hushed whispers when they realised that she wasn't who they thought she was which made her the wildcard in a secret organisation designed to find and stop aliens from threatening Earth because they didn't know who or what she was, which suddenly made her a threat to them.

She didn't argue when Winn suddenly  asked her for a blood sample, but simply rolled up her sleeve and offered them what they needed, reassurance.

"I'm sorry about this" he said quietly as he took her blood and she assured him it was okay.

"A small part of me always knew I wasn't her, but he was so convincing, you know, and I wanted to be her. I really did".

_No alien DNA detected._

She was human.

Mon el started to distance himself after that and they decided to place her in a holding cell because she was a security risk since she knew too much. She didn't take it personally, she'd probably do the same thing if the roles were reversed.

The Supergirl came to see her a few days later and asked her where she got the pod from, which resulted in a whole line of questioning.

"I don't know".

"Are you a metahuman?"

"I don't know what that is".

"Have you ever been to Central city?"

"No".

In all honesty she didn't even know where that was or what Kara was talking about and she was grateful when she finally gave up and decided to leave. She was almost out the door when she stopped and turned back around.

"You hurt Mon el you know".

She did.

"I think he's confused, most of all" Winn said when he came to see her and she wanted to ask him to give him a message, but did she really have a right to tell him anything after he believed in her only to be disappointed? She didn't think so, so she stayed quiet.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help you".

"It was never your responsibility to".

He was confused and angry when he finally came to see her and for a while he just stood on the other side of the glass looking at her that she thought he'd just leave, but instead he said "I don't understand".

She didn't understand either and she really wished she had the answers he was so desperately looking for.

He accused her of hurting his best friend, which was irrational, so she didn't take it personally. Instead she wished she could hold him as he broke down in front of her and punched the glass separating them, which didn't break because it was alien proof apparently.

Before he walked out the door after he was done she finally got the courage to speak up, even as tears filled her eyes and she saw the murder in his, she said "I actually started to believe I was her. You gave me an identity when I had none and I believed I was her".

That was the last time she saw him for a while, and only Winn came to visit. She told him it wasn't his responsibility to keep her company, but he ignored her and asked if she'd had anymore dreams.

So she told him what little she remembered about Jake Riley, her dream of him was fading quickly and she didn't know how to stop it.

"I can never see his face clearly, but I remember a wedding ring on my finger".

"What happened to him?"

"I don't know" she woke up before she could find out.

He also asked her if she'd levitated again lately and she shook her head no.

"Kara asked if I was a metahuman" she said, starting her own line of questioning. "What is that?"

That set him off on a 30 min explanation about dark matter, particle accelerator explosions and humans with superhuman abilities.

"I can't believe I didn't consider that" he said pacing now, "Ofcourse there's no way to prove it for certain without outside help since it's not exactly our area of expertise, but I know a guy".

He evantually stopped talking and she finally got some sleep, but it wasn't long before the commotion outside her cell woke her up again and her intuition kicked in letting her know that something was very very wrong.

"Lena Luther released a lead dispenser" Winn came to tell her with a pained look on his face.

Lead.

There was a twist in her gut and she had to sit down before her legs gave out from under her as she remembered what he told her.

_"Not much can hurt us" he said fiddling with his fingers, "Perks of being an alien"._

_"But lead...that could do it"._

"Let me out". Her voice was dangerously low and Winn almost missed it, but then she looked right at him, daring him to refuse while her fingers tingled as her anger rose to the surface. Winn must've seen it too because he opened up for her without another word.

She wasn't sure what she was going to do exactly, but she knew she wasn't going to let Mon el die. This was what she did, she couldn't remember when or how, but as her whole body came to life she knew that no matter what happened she had to try and save him.

DEO agents were there within seconds of her entering the med bay and his pain must've been so severe because it radiated off of him as he squirmed on the bed while Kara held him down so he wouldn't hurt himself.

And then there was yelling, but she couldn't be sure if it was coming from Mon el or the agents digging their guns into her back, telling her to turn around. Then it slowly faded away as the pounding against her skull made itself known, screaming for her attention.

Then there was nothing.

_"I'm not going to let you kill yourself"_

_"It won't kill me, I can channel it into my body and it will evantually pass through me"_

_"But it will hurt you, Bonnie!"_

_"I know, but what kind of witch would I be if I let him die"._

_"Okay, but you can't do it by yourself. You'll need help, from Nature. The elements. Just anything you can draw extra power from"._

"Extra power" she whispered, trying to keep her focus.

_"Not much can hurt us"._

She didn't have time to think it through before she grabbed onto Kara's arm, mumbling an apology.

Then the words flowed naturally from her lips without further prompting.

* * *

She didn't remember much of what happened after that, but she remembered the pain vividly. The burning of her skin as her insides were torn apart with no way of making it stop.

Winn told her she was out for two days, which in hindsight she thought was a very short time considering she felt like she was in pain for an eternity and he asked her how she did that.

"I've never seen anything like that in my many years on this Earth, and I swear you were speaking gibberish".

"I don't know" she said as she tried to sit up more on the bed, remembering bits of an argument with a woman she barely recognised. "But I think I've done it before".

"You remember?"

"Only patches of it now, it's like the more I try to hold onto a memory, the faster I lose it, but I can still feel her fear for me and I remember what she called me" she said in thought, trying to hold onto that memory for as long as possible before she lost it completely.

"She called me Bonnie".


	5. Call Me Bonnie

_How do I stay out of it?_

_The middle of it is exactly where you need to be._

"Again!"

She stood in the middle of the training room with her left hand firmly gripped on Mon el's arm while her right arm was stretched out in front of her, trying to absorb his energy like they say she did to Supergirl a few days ago, which was a lot harder than she originally thought when Winn made the suggestion, especially with her not being able to remember any of it. The audience of DEO agents watching her wasn't helping either as they waited for the girl who took down supergirl with her bare hands to make an appearance.

That girl didn't seem to want to make an appearance though and she doubted if it really happened like Winn said it did because as much as she remembers being in the Med bay and watching Mon el writh in pain on the bed, she didn't remember much else.

"Relax". The sound of Mon el's voice next to her snapped her from her thoughts as he told her not to overthink it and she opened her eyes again to look at him. "Just let it happen on it's own".

"Easy for you to say" she grumbled before closing her eyes again. He wasn't the one trying to figure out how to do something no human being was supposed to be able to do and with no memory of how she did it.

The holes in her memories made it worse too as she tried to piece together broken conversations while losing bits of what she'd already remembered. The only way she could describe it was like walking through a maze thinking she was heading in the right direction only to end up where she started.

It was the most frustrating thing ever so she made a decision to stop being a burden to everyone around her. A decision she now felt robbed off.

She decided to leave the day she woke up after saving Mon el so that she could figure out who she was. This was her problem, not theirs and she wouldn't be the burden she felt she was anymore so she evaded agents during a crisis and successfully made her way out of the DEO.

She was just past the Welcome billboard headed out the city when he landed in front of her, blocking her way.

"You were gonna leave without saying goodbye?"

She didn't miss the hurt look on his face as he waited for a response that never came. She didn't know how to speak to him anymore, but she took comfort in being able to see that he was okay with her own eyes which made whatever pain she went through worth it. That was as far as their connection went though because she wasn't Chiara, she had no identity.

"You know you didn't have to do that" he tried again and she shifted her weight onto her right leg, leaning over to the side slightly.

They told him.

She wasn't sure how to feel about that though she probably should've expected it,  but she didn't want him to feel indebted to her. That's not why she did it.

"It was nothing" she settled on a response before brushing past him continuing on her way, but she didn't get very far before he fell in stride with her.

"So where are you heading?"

She didn't know, she hadn't exactly thought this through. All she knew was that she had to leave, but she wasn't about to tell him that though so she just kept walking and he kept following her.

It erked her to no end.

"Are you just going to keep following me?" She finally snapped coming to a stop and he raised his arms in surrender.

"Sorry, didn't realise it bothered you".

"It doesn't, it's just-" she cut herself off not sure what she wanted to say, this was exactly what she was talking about she didn't know how to act around him anymore so she just let out a tired sigh before trying again. "What do you want, Mon el?"

"I wanted to thank you for what you did, and make sure you got where you're going safely". This is why she couldn't stand him sometimes, he was too damn nice, but she couldn't trust it because there was a quiet voice in her mind that constantly told her he was just transferring feelings he had for someone else onto her.

That voice was louder now.

"I can take care of myself" she insisted stubbornly only to have him arch a skeptical eyebrow at her before pointing out that she didn't even know who she was let alone take care of herself.

She didn't appreciate the reminder and stormed off again, and he followed her again. They walked in silence for about ten minutes before he told her that what she did wasn't nothing. It was the pain, he knew it was just as excruciating for her as it was for him, he'd seen it those next few days after he woke up wondering how he was still alive and they told him what she did, and he knew it wasn't nothing even as much as she tried to brush it off.

"I don't even know what to call you" he blurted out after she ignored him for another ten minutes and she stopped again, the snide remark getting stuck in her throat at seeing the look on his face. That was the look of a man searching for something, but she wasn't sure he knew what that was yet and told him the same name she'd given to Winn earlier that day.

The one she was now claiming as her own.

"Bonnie".

"Bonnie" he tested it out on his tongue and she found she liked how he said it. "Where are you going, Bonnie?"

"I don't know".

She wasn't sure what it was that made her turn back with him after that, maybe it was his story of how he ended up on this planet after his only home was destroyed and had to find a new home here with Kara and Winn, which she now realised he'd never mentioned. They spent weeks together and she never noticed that he never talked about himself, not really anyway.

Or maybe it was because she was just so tired of walking, either way she felt robbed and now they were trying to get her to access her powers, which she had no idea how to do.

"Okay, this isn't working" Winn decided and she let go of Mon el's arm. "We've been at this for a week and nothing, I just can't figure out what we're doing wrong, or more accurately, what you're doing wrong" he gave her a pointed look to which she responded to by flipping him the bird. She didn't need him telling her that she sucked at this when she already knew that.

To her absolute joy though the DEO agents slowly filled out and left the three of them alone and she already felt herself relax more.

"Maybe you need some extra motivation" Winn continued, pacing in front of them now.

"What do you mean?" Mon el asked curiously, "English is my second language".

"He means putting me in a situation where I have no choice, but to use my powers to survive".

"I'm not exposing myself to lead again" Mon el shut that down immediately and Bonnie nodded in agreement. She wasn't trying to go through that kind of pain again.

"I was actually thinking more in the lines off the underground fight club in the city".

"The what?!" She yelled in protest before Winn made his case.

There was an alien fight club, he'd never been there personally, but Kara told him about it. So the plan was for her to get in the ring with semi-professional fighters and get her ass kicked to trigger her powers.

"It's completely safe" he said pointing out that Mon el would be there to make sure things didn't get out of control.

"Trust me". He knew what he was doing. She looked at Mon el for reassurance and he squeezed her shoulder. "We won't let anything happened to you".

She hated how sincere he always sounded and reluctantly agreed dispite her better judgment, which is how she ended up at an underground alien fight club in the middle of the night, because she was clearly desperate.

The comfort she previously felt when she stepped into the ring and realised that her opponent was a woman around her size went out the window when she transformed into a white and bigger alien, 'Mon el couldn't do that' came as an afterthought that and as a lump formed in her throat she knew she wasn't comfortable anymore. Not even a little bit.

She barely crawled out from under her when the alien attacked her, which she soon realised was an attempt made in vain because the alien caught her by the leg as she was crawling towards her escape and pulled her back before grabbing her by the neck and body slamming her onto the hard ground.

The crowd seemed to particularly love that one as Bonnie tried to hear them over the ringing in her ears. She couldn't dwell on it though because she was dangling by her neck again trying to focus on the sinister look on the alien's face which only blurred before her eyes before she was tossed against the cage this time and fell to the floor. She didn't realise that she was bleeding until she saw the blood dripping onto her shirt from her nose.

_"Is that all you got"._

She was enjoying this, her entire demeanor showed that she was enjoying this way too much as she strode over to her slouched body on the ground and Bonnie wondered if she enjoyed it so much because she had the weak human girl completely at her mercy.

It was a powerplay. That's all it ever was, isn't it? A survival of the fittest?

_"Let's find out"._

She wasn't sure if the headache came from being body slammed by an alien or the faint images in her head.

"Why isn't this working?" She barely heard Winn say anxious from behind her, standing on the other side of the cage and she barely caught Mon el's worried look when she turned to look at them before she felt the pressure against her throat, her windpipes closing from the foot that was now putting pressure there and she couldn't breath.

She was ready to welcome the darkness when she renoved her foot and Bonnie could breathe again. She was coughing up some blood when she noticed Mon el tackling the alien before driving his fist into her face.

He had a few punches in before he stopped and turned back to her as she tried and failed to get to her feet on her own.

He was in front of her in the blink of an eye and held her up by the waist. "You have no sense of self-preservation, do you?"

_"Forever the martyr"._

The pain in her head was back with a vengeance, but before she could nurse the pain she was on her hands and knees again while Mon el was flung to the other side of the arena. The alien was on her feet again, this time turning her dominance on Mon el. She saw that same foot putting pressure on his neck and him struggling to breathe.

He was getting weaker.

"What the hell is going on?" She wondered outloud a d turned frantically to Winn, who was frantically examining the ring with a panicked look on his face.

"Crap".

"Winn!" She rasped, trying to get his attention and he turned him frantic look on her.

"The arena is designed to dampen his powers" Winn yelled out over the screaming of the crowd, and he kicked himself for not doing the research, for not considering the fact that it could be alien proof.

The cracking of his spine caught her attention again and she turned in time to see the alien drop him like a sack of potatoes and all she could see was him laying on the floor, unmoving.

_"What are you gonna do? Fail at me?"_

She stumbled back from the pain, but the alien caught her by the neck before she could fall again and brought her near her face, but Bonnie kept her eyes on Mon el.

He still wasn't moving.

_"It's embarrassing, I'm embarrassed for you"._

_"I could end up dead, AGAIN!"_

_"Phasmatos...incendia"._

She clutched at the arm around her neck, her throat slowly closing and between the sight of Mon el's unconscious state behind them and the images in her head, she desperately tried to hold onto the words as her fingers tingled again.

This was their way out.

"Phasmatos" she croaked, trying to get the words out and tried again, this time looking right at her, "Phasmatos...incendia".

The alien woman dropped her the moment she caught fire and Bonnie looked up at her with wide eyes as she caught her breath and tried to stand again, trying to figure out if she really did that.

The crowd was in an uproar, cheering louder than before while the alien stumbled around, screaming from the agony of burning alive and Bonnie swayed on her feet as she made her way to Mon el. He was heavy so she had to flip him onto his back and drag him out of the arena.

He'd heal once he's outta here she kept telling herself as she dragged him along, the pain in her head slowing them down.

_"Stay strong"._

Winn got to them before they were even out and helped her drag him along. They soon realised that the crowd wasn't going to let them leave by the way they crowded around them once they were out the ring.

She won and so she had to keep them entertained, but she wasn't trying to get into another fight in her state and with the images still playing in her head the words came easily this time.

_"Invisique"._

Mon el was already awake by the time they got to the DEO only to come face to face with a pissed off looking Kara and as she yelled at them Bonnie could feel her headache fading and with it her memories.

"What if you guys had gotten hurt, no scratch that" she continued, pointing at an injured Mon el still being held up by his two companions, "What if you guys had gotten yourselves killed?!"

"It's fine I'm already healing" he groaned, but he was looking at Bonnie. She had to save him again and he wasn't sure at what cost to herself.

"Since when do we lie to each other, Mon el?" The hurt in Kara's voice as she asked that was what pulled him from his musings, but he couldn't look at her because he didn't have an answer for her.

"It was my fault" Bonnie whispered, speaking up for the first time during Kara's rant. She didn't blame her for being upset, she probably would be too if the situation was reversed because they were reckless and they went to that fight club unprepared and for what? For her to barely save their lives and forget how she started a fire with her bare hands?

"I got desperate-"

"Bonnie, no"

"-and when Winn told me about an underground fight club, I figured I could put myself in a situation where I could use my powers again".

"And did it work?"

She shook her head no, because did it really work if she couldn't remember how she did it? This memory faded faster than the other one, which bothered her. What was it about this one?

"Well while you were off risking your lives by taking matters into your own hands, I breached over to Central City to talk to Cisco. He's handling a crisis right now with The Flash, but he promised he would come by as soon as he could so...try to stay alive until then". They could hear the edge in her voice as she spoke and then brushed past them without another word, leaving Bonnie wondering what she meant by breach.


	6. This Is Who I Am

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was kinda hard to write this chapter because I was having some trouble with how I would introduce Kai and see a glimpse of what he's been up to, but yeah. Here it is.

_"No one can take away what's a part of you, Kai" she whispered looking up at the ceiling from their living room floor. The heat coming from the fireplace kept them warm, but they knew they probably had another few days before they ran out of supplies and would have to leave the safety of their makeshift home and face what was out there._

_The touch of his hand against hers didn't surprise her anymore as she felt his fingers interlock with hers on top of the blanket in the space between them. She'd gotten used to it awhile ago when this became their new normal._

_He wasn't sure when it happened, but she somehow opened his eyes for the first time in twenty-two years and he started to realize a few things about himself and about who they were.That knowledge liberated them in a way and fueled their need to escape._

_"What are you going to do when we get out?" He asked after a moment's silence, his eyes still glued to the ceiling above them._

_"Take back what's mine" she said without hesitation and turned to look at him before asking him the same question. He finally turned to look down at her when he felt her eyes burning into the side of his head and he didn't have to think about his answer as he said, "Take back what's mine"._

He was vaguely aware of the voices outside his room, but could never understand what they were talking about as he was pulled in and out of his memories of her.

He was finally out of the prison his family had created for him only to be pulled into a different prison he couldn't escape this time as he was haunted by promises he made to himself and to her, promises he couldn't keep because his father had finally broken him.

This whole mess was a well thought out plan by his father and he cursed himself for not realising it sooner because now he was in a mess he couldn't get himself out of.   
  
He knew his fate was sealed but he'd done everything in his power to make sure hers wasn't and as he let himself be pulled into another memory, absentmindedly scratching the mark on his neck, he hoped she'd never come back here.

* * *

Bonnie flinched away from the girl with the ice cold hands, white hair and piercing white eyes that almost made her unrecognizable from when she first met her that morning while the needle cut her arm.

She didn't think they'd arrive this soon after Winn told her they were fighting against a man calling himself The Thinker, and even though his metahuman abilities were in the name, Winn still insisted on explaining his evil plan to make everyone lose their intelligence to a point where if she didn't know any better she'd think he admired the man.

"It's just a cool ability to have. Do you know what I'd do if I had his powers?" He'd asked enthusiastically, practically bouncing off the walls.

"Stop global warming".

"You're starting to get me, Bon" he smirked and she bit her tongue to keep herself from pointing out that it was because he overshared. She actually envied the fact that he had all these memories to share while she had none, but she wouldn't wish her situation on anyone, especially not Winn.

"Are you okay?" Mon el broke her from her trance and she noticed the little bit of blood seeping through her slightly cut arm before looking at the doctor again.

She looked like she did when they first met, her brown hair and brown eyes exactly as they had been before, but she couldn't shake what she saw with her own eyes when she touched her.

"You're like him, aren't you?" Bonnie asked trying to ignore the slow pounding against her head. "Like Cisco".

The question distracted even Mon el from his concern and he turned to look at Caitlin as well. Bonnie could almost tell the moment her grief took over so she scootched over on the bed, making room for her as she bared her soul to two complete strangers and told them about Killer Frost.

She was the one person Caitlin couldn't hide from because they were the same person, though for the longest time Caitlin was scared of her.

"I realised I was scared of not having control once she took over and having no recollection of ever being her" she confessed and Bonnie could relate to that, the not knowing and lack of control scared her more than possibly being stuck in a world she didn't belong in because as Winn explained it, this wasn't the only earth there was. There were 52 to be exact, each with their own versions of them, so with a multiverse so big she didn't even know where to start to find her home.

She noticed how Caitlin's hands clenched into fists when she told them about The Thinker, he was the reason she lost Killer Frost. He took her away from her with a simple command and now there was no trace of dark matter in her system, but that couldn't be right.

Bonnie knew what she saw.

"No one can take away what is yours, Caitlin. Dark matter or not I can feel her in there. She's still a part of you".

_"No one can take away what's a part of you, Kai" ._

The pounding against her head screamed for her attention then and the pain in her eyes was getting harder to hide, proven true by Mon el suddenly holding her up, trying to get her to focus and when she finally looked at him she realised something.

She knew that face.

_"You are a Bennett witch, Bonnie. Our family lineage, our magic, it lives in you" ._

More images came at once, making the headache unbearably painful and she barely got the words out as she told them to get Cisco.

* * *

 

_The wind picked up around them as they saw her turn around and watch her grams walk up towards her._

_"How are you in here with me right now?" He asked her, his eyes still glued to the scene before them and missed the mournful look in her eyes as she remembered having this exact conversation with grams the night before._

_It was why she woke up in the woods in the middle of nowhere that morning. Sheila was calling out to her, her magic begging to be set free and without even thinking she used it and she was back at the DEO before anyone even noticed she was gone._

_It all happened so fast that she doubted it was real so she kept it to herself._

_What was frustrating though was not being able to remember what happened to her, but she knew her grams was right, her subconscious remembered...and it wasn't safe for her to be here anymore._

_"I thought you were the expert on vibing, or whatever this is called"._

_"It's called vibing, and no, this has never happened before" he said, but she was distracted by the magic around them and just like the last time she felt it, she knew it wasn't just hers._

_"Is she your grandmother? You look like her". He tore his eyes away from them and looked at the Bonnie next to him as she nodded, not trusting her voice anymore as she watched her grandmother take her hand and remembered how her heart sank when she didn't feel anything._

_"You can't stay here forever, Bonnie" , but_  
_the warning was clear._

_This world she was stuck in, it wasn't hers and the longer she stayed there the more she'd lose a sense of who she was._

_"The headaches, they will only get worse the longer you stay here"._

_The tears fell unexpectedly, clouding her vision so Sheila grabbed her face and wiped away her tears, reminding her who she was._

_"You are a Bennett witch, Bonnie. Our family lineage, our magic, it lives in you" she placed her hand over her grabddaughter's heart, channeling it through her "You are the only one strong enough to unite our coven so you have to go back"._

_"Will I even remember talking to you?"_

_No, this wasn't real._

_"I guess it's safe to say you're not a meta" Cisco spoke up after they watched Sheila disappear and Bonnie wasn't sure if she imagined the slight glance in their direction before she was completely gone, but it gave her a weird sense of comfort anyway to know that Sheila knew she was there, fighting._

_"I was born a witch, this is who I am"._

_"So what do we do now? It's not safe for you here" he said and she finally turned her whole body towards him to explain her theory. Something was blocking her from retaining her memories and the more they kept fading the harder it would be for her to get them back._

_"A core memory is blocked"  he followed her thought process, the wheels in his head already working to try and find a solution, "We need to find which one it is. We unlock that one, and you'll remember the rest"._

_She blinked to keep herself from crying as she saw the determination in his eyes and remembered what Winn told her, if anyone could help her it was him._

_"I'm depending on you, Cisco"._

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you keep enjoying this fic. And you can drop a comment if you'd like.


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